How Apple Rankings Scores and Ranks Apples

Apple Rankings by The Appleist Brian Frange scores apples on a 100-point scale and sorts them into tiers, from "TOP APPLES" down through "AVERAGE APPLES" and "Barely Worth It." Each apple gets a numeric score, a tier label, and a nickname. The site presents itself as "the industry-standard, definitive, inarguable guide to ranking and reviewing munching apples," curated by comedian Brian Frange.

If you want to know where a specific apple lands before buying it, the score and tier are the fastest signals. If you want the reasoning, the nickname and tier label carry the tone.

The scoring scale

Scores run from the high 90s down into the 50s on the visible list. Higher is better, and the gaps between scores are small enough that a few points separate "Superb" from "Excellent."

The tiers are not strictly cut by score alone. Opal at 77 sits under "TOP APPLES" with the label "Very Good," while GoldRush at 74 sits under "AVERAGE APPLES" with "Pretty Good." So the tier heading and the score can overlap — read both, not just the number.

How the ranking is organized

The homepage lists apples in descending score order, grouped under tier headings:

• TOP APPLES — the highest scores, from SweeTango (95) down to Rave (75)
• AVERAGE APPLES — the middle band, from GoldRush (74) down to Empire, WineCrisp, and Juici (65)
• Barely Worth It — the lower end, from Lucy Rose and Sundowner (64) down to Top Secret and Hunnyz (58)

Each entry pairs the apple name with a quoted nickname and the score. Examples:

• SweeTango Apples — "The Holy Grail" — 95
• Lucy Glo Apples — "The Breathtaking Circus Freak" — 93
• Pink Lady Apples — "The Cover Girl" — 90
• Cosmic Crisp Apples — "The Hype Machine" — 88
• Honeycrisp Apples — "The Queen Mother" — 83
• Gala Apples — "The Base Model" — 68
• Rockit Apples — "A Space-Age Novelty" — 63

What the score is based on

The site describes itself as a guide to "ranking and reviewing munching apples," so the evaluation is about eating quality — flavor, texture, and overall munching experience — rather than agricultural yield, storage life, or price. The scoring is presented as the curator's judgment, not a lab measurement. The nicknames and tier labels are part of the review voice, not separate data points.

Because the criteria are subjective and the site frames its list as "inarguable" in a comedic register, treat the scores as one reviewer's ranked opinion rather than a standardized test. The value is in the relative ordering: if you like apples that score in the 90s, the list tells you which ones this reviewer puts at the top.

How to use the list

1. Find the apple you are considering by name in the list.
2. Note its score and its tier heading.
3. Read the nickname for the reviewer's quick characterization.
4. Compare against a nearby apple you already know to calibrate.

For example, if you already like Honeycrisp (83, "The Queen Mother"), the list places SweeTango (95), Lucy Glo (93), and Pink Lady (90) above it, and Gala (68) and Empire (65) below it. That gives you a rough sense of where your taste sits relative to the ranking.

Limits to keep in mind

• The list shown covers a specific set of named varieties; it is not a complete catalog of every apple grown.
• Scores are whole numbers with no published rubric breaking down flavor versus texture versus aroma.
• Tier headings and score bands overlap, so a "Very Good" apple can appear under TOP APPLES while a "Pretty Good" apple appears under AVERAGE APPLES.
• The tone is comedic, so nicknames are commentary, not formal tasting notes.

If you want a single number to decide whether an apple is worth trying, the score works as a rough filter. If you want to understand why, the tier and nickname give you the reviewer's angle in one line.