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EnglishWhere to Find Help With Breaking Up, Starting Up, and Co-Parenting on Bonus Families
Updated
Bonus Families points visitors to its Ex-Etiquette articles as the place to go for help with "breaking up, starting up and co-parenting." That single content channel is the site's stated resource for the practical, day-to-day questions that come with divorce, separation, and blended-family life — and it sits alongside the site's broader mission of supporting divorced or separated parents and their combined families.
What Bonus Families Is
Bonus Families® describes itself as a non-profit organization "dedicated to offering help and support to divorced or separated parents and their combined families." Its stated goal is framed directly at the reader: "We're here to support YOU."
The site's larger purpose is cultural as well as practical — its tagline is "changing the way society looks at stepfamilies," and its homepage carries the line "We must be the Change we want to see in the World."
Where the Co-Parenting Help Lives: Ex-Etiquette
The homepage lists a direct pointer under the heading:
"Visit the Ex-Etiquette articles for help with breaking up, starting up and co-parenting"
That is the site's own description of what the column covers. The three phases map onto a common timeline for separated parents:
| Phase | What it covers (per the site's framing) |
|---|---|
| Breaking up | The end of the relationship and the transition into separate households |
| Starting up | Beginning new relationships and new family arrangements |
| Co-parenting | Ongoing cooperation between parent figures for the children's sake |
If you arrive at Bonus Families looking for advice on any of those three, Ex-Etiquette is the section the site directs you to.
The "Bonus" Idea Behind the Advice
Understanding the term helps explain the tone of the guidance. According to the site, a bonusfamily is technically a stepfamily, but with one key difference: it "is not dependent on the parents being married." More importantly, "bonus" is described as a state of mind — "embracing cooperation on the part of all the parent figures (that means ex's, too) for the sake of all the children in their care."
The site is explicit that this isn't just a softer word:
- Each family member has to commit to working together to reach "bonus status."
- When that happens, step mom becomes bonus mom, step dad becomes bonus dad, step sister and step brother become bonus sister and bonus brother.
- The site acknowledges that if you're "right in the middle of stepwars," this can sound impossible — but states it is possible.
Why "Bonus" Instead of "Step"
The site's reasoning: most people associate "step" with negative meanings — "wicked, evil, second best." It points to the phrase "red-headed stepchild" as an example of how the word is used to describe someone "neglected, mistreated or unwanted." The organization's response was to scrap the old concept and offer a model "based in love, empathy, and respect for all of our differences."
Who's Behind It
Bonus Families was founded by Dr. Jann Blackstone, described on the site as specializing in divorce, child custody, co-parenting, and stepfamily mediation. She is called the "Relationship Expert for Today's Relationships" for her "real life, down-to-earth" approach to co-parenting relationship problem solving.
The site credits her with coining the term "bonus" — as in "bonus family" or "bonus parent" — over 30 years ago, specifically to counter the negative connotation of "stepfamily." She is also the author of books on divorce and parenting and has appeared as a guest or consultant on programs including The Today Show (NBC), Keeping Kids Healthy (PBS), and The Oprah show.
Related Resource: The Featured Book
The site features Co-Parenting For Dummies (paperback), listed at $24.99, with a pre-order price of $24.99. It notes availability at Walmart.com, Barnes & Noble, and Target.com, with the publisher listed as Wiley & Sons. The listed publication date is June 16, 2026.
How to Use This
If your question is about a specific co-parenting conflict, a breakup, or starting a new relationship as a separated parent, start with the Ex-Etiquette articles — that's the section Bonus Families itself designates for those topics. If you want the underlying philosophy first, read the site's explanation of what a bonusfamily is and why it uses "bonus" rather than "step," since that framing shapes the advice throughout.