sa.org

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) defines sexual sobriety, for the married sexaholic, as having no form of sex with self or with persons other than the spouse. The organization states this definition as its own position and explicitly does not speak for those outside SA. If you are trying to understand whether SA's standard matches your situation, the key point is that SA treats sobriety as a specific behavioral boundary, not a general feeling of being "better" or "in control."

The Core Definition

According to SA's Statement of Principle on its website, the definition is stated plainly:

"For the married sexaholic, sexual sobriety means having no form of sex with self or with persons other than the spouse."

Two elements matter here:

• No sex with self — masturbation is excluded from sobriety.
• No sex with persons other than the spouse — for married members, sexual activity is confined to the spouse.

SA frames this as a boundary that applies to its own members who identify with the problem. It does not claim the definition is universal.

SA Speaks Only for Itself

SA is explicit that it does not define sobriety for anyone outside the fellowship:

"In defining sobriety, we do not speak for those outside Sexaholics Anonymous. We can only speak for ourselves."

This matters if you are comparing SA to other recovery approaches. SA is not asserting that its definition is the only valid one — it is describing the standard its members use. If your circumstances differ (for example, you are not married), SA's literature and meetings are where the fellowship addresses those situations; the website's summary focuses on the married case.

What SA Is

SA describes itself as "a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover." It identifies the problem as "lust, sex, and pornography addiction."

The program is built on the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, the same framework used by other twelve-step fellowships. Recovery in SA is described as mutual: members share what has worked for them and help others do the same.

How to Tell If SA Fits You

SA provides a self-assessment on its site ("Take the Test") with questions such as whether you have ever thought you needed help for your sexual thinking or behavior. The site also asks:

• Has sex with self or with someone other than your spouse become destructive?
• Are you hooked and cannot stop?
• Do you long to be happy, joyous and free?

If those questions describe your experience and SA's definition of sobriety matches the boundary you are willing to adopt, the next step the site recommends is attending a meeting. SA offers a "Find a Meeting" tool, newcomer materials, and a women's packet.

Key Takeaways

SA does not claim its solution is for everybody — its own statement says, "We don't claim it's for everybody, but for us, it works." The practical test is whether you identify with the problem as SA describes it and whether its definition of sobriety is one you can accept as your own.

sa.org is the official website of Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other to solve their common problem and help others recover from lust, sex, and pornography addiction. The site is for anyone who thinks they may need help for their sexual thinking or behavior, as well as for family members and professionals who want to understand the program. It provides introductory material, a self-test, meeting-finding tools, and literature for purchase.

What SA Is

Sexaholics Anonymous describes itself as "a fellowship with a solution to the problems of lust, sex, and pornography addiction." It is a mutual-help program, not a treatment facility or professional service. Members share their experience with one another rather than receiving care from clinicians.

The site frames the program around a common problem and a shared solution. SA states plainly: "We have a solution. We don't claim it's for everybody, but for us, it works." If you identify with the problem as described, the fellowship invites you to explore its solution.

How SA Defines Sobriety

SA publishes a specific definition of sexual sobriety, and the site is explicit that it speaks only for itself:

• For the married sexaholic, sexual sobriety means having no form of sex with self or with persons other than the spouse.
• SA notes that in defining sobriety, it does not speak for those outside Sexaholics Anonymous.

This definition matters because it is one of the first things a newcomer should understand before deciding whether the program fits. It is a stated principle of the fellowship, not a universal standard for anyone outside it.

What You Can Do on the Site

The homepage and navigation organize the site around a few practical entry points:

The self-test is a low-commitment first step: it presents questions such as whether sex with yourself or with someone other than your spouse has become destructive, whether you feel hooked and cannot stop, and whether you long to be happy, joyous, and free. If several of these describe your experience, the site points you toward its solution and meetings.

Who the Site Is For

The site addresses several audiences at once:

• Newcomers — people wondering whether they have a problem and what SA offers.
• Women — through a dedicated Women and SA page and a Women's Packet.
• Those seeking meetings — via the Find a Meeting tool and information on conventions and events.
• Readers of program literature — through the literature section and store.
• Correctional facilities — through a dedicated resources page.

If you are looking for clinical treatment, diagnosis, or professional therapy, this is not that. SA is a fellowship of peers. If you want to understand the program's own definition of the problem and solution, or find a local meeting, the site is built for exactly that.

A Practical First Step

If you are unsure whether SA applies to you, the site's own suggested path is straightforward: read "Who Are We?" and "Our Problem & Solution," take the self-test, and if the descriptions resonate, use Find a Meeting to attend one near you. The site also offers a welcome brochure and welcome packet, and states that if you want the solution its members have found, they would like to share it with you.

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) does not claim its program is for everyone, so the honest answer is that only you can decide whether it fits. What the official site offers is a way to check: a self-test built around whether your sexual thinking or behavior has felt out of control or destructive, plus a clear statement of who the fellowship is for and how it defines sobriety. If the test questions describe your experience, SA invites you to look further at its solution and meetings.

Start with the self-test

The site's "Take the Test" section asks a single framing question that opens into a set of questions: Have you ever thought you needed help for your sexual thinking or behavior? The follow-up questions are meant to help you see whether any of them describe your experience.

The test is not a diagnosis or a score you pass or fail. It is a mirror. The useful move is to read each question slowly and notice which ones you recognize, rather than rushing to a verdict.

What the questions are really asking

The site's own framing points to two signals:

• Loss of control — being "hooked and cannot stop."
• Destructiveness — sex with yourself or with someone other than your spouse becoming destructive.

The "Need Help?" section puts it as three plain questions:

• Has sex with self or with someone other than your spouse become destructive?
• Are you hooked and cannot stop?
• Do you long to be happy, joyous and free?

If you answer yes to the first two and want the third, that is the profile SA is describing.

Who SA says it is for

SA describes itself as "a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover." It is a fellowship "with a solution to the problems of lust, sex, and pornography addiction."

Two limits matter here:

• SA does not speak for people outside SA, and it does not claim its program works for everybody.
• It speaks only for itself: "for us, it works."

So the test is not asking whether you match a universal category. It is asking whether you identify with the problem this particular fellowship describes.

How SA defines sobriety

This is the part most likely to tell you whether you belong, because the definition is specific. SA states that in defining sobriety it does not speak for those outside the fellowship. For the married sexaholic, sexual sobriety means having no form of sex with self or with persons other than the spouse.

If that definition fits what you are looking for, the program's language will likely make sense to you. If it does not, that is useful information too — it may mean SA is not the right fit, not that your problem is not real.

A practical way to decide

The site also provides a meeting participation statement and a printable welcome brochure, which are worth reading before attending so you know what to expect.

What SA does not do

The site does not present SA as a universal answer, does not diagnose you, and does not promise outcomes for people outside the fellowship. Its claim is narrow and first-person: this is our problem, this is our solution, and it works for us. Your job is simply to check whether you identify with the problem as described.

Go to sa.org and use the top navigation menu. "Find a Meeting" and "Conventions & Events" are listed under Meetings & Events, while "Purchase Literature" appears under Literature and again under Store. Both paths are open to anyone browsing the site; the site does not state that an account or login is required to view meeting listings or the literature store.

Finding a Meeting

1. Open sa.org.
2. In the navigation menu, go to Meetings & Events.
3. Select Find a Meeting.
4. Use the resulting meeting information to locate a meeting near you.

The site's own call to action is "Join us at a meeting near you," and the homepage repeats "Find A Meeting" as the next step after describing the fellowship. If you are new, the For Newcomers section is the companion path: it links to "What is Sexaholics Anonymous?", "We Have a Solution," "The SA Program of Recovery," "Women and SA," "How We Define Sobriety," and "Test Yourself."

Before you attend: what SA says about itself

Sexaholics Anonymous describes itself as "a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover." It frames that common problem as "lust, sex, and pornography addiction."

The site also publishes a Participation Statement, described as "suitable for sharing at meetings," and offers it as a download. If a group asks how participation is handled, that statement is the document to check rather than assuming a rule.

If you are unsure whether SA fits

The site provides a Test Yourself / Take the Test page with questions such as "Have you ever thought you needed help for your sexual thinking or behavior?" and "Has sex with self or with someone other than your spouse become destructive? Are you hooked and cannot stop?" These are self-assessment prompts, not a diagnosis. SA states its solution is not claimed to be for everybody: "We don't claim it's for everybody, but for us, it works."

SA also defines sobriety only for its own members: "In defining sobriety, we do not speak for those outside Sexaholics Anonymous. We can only speak for ourselves." For the married sexaholic, the site states that sexual sobriety means having no form of sex with self or with persons other than the spouse.

Finding Conventions and Events

1. Open sa.org.
2. Go to Meetings & Events.
3. Select Conventions & Events.

The same menu section also lists Correctional Facilities and SA Resources, which is a separate resource path from local meetings. Registration for a convention is handled through a Register for a Convention link in the site's action list, alongside "Find a Meeting" and "Contribute."

Purchasing SA Literature

1. Open sa.org.
2. Go to Literature in the navigation menu and select Purchase Literature — or use the Store menu item, which also contains Purchase Literature.
3. Complete the purchase through the store page.

Literature items named on the site include:

• The SA Service Manual
• Pamphlets
• Other Documents
• The ESSAY Magazine
• Videos (listed under For Newcomers)

The site includes "purchase" as a pricing-related signal but does not publish prices, payment platforms, or shipping terms on the pages summarized here. Check the store page itself for current cost and checkout details.

Other Resources Worth Knowing

Quick Answers

Do I need to register to find a meeting? The site does not state a login requirement for meeting listings.

Where do I buy SA books and pamphlets? Through Purchase Literature, reachable from either the Literature menu or the Store menu.

Where do I find conventions? Under Meetings & Events → Conventions & Events.

What if I'm not sure SA is for me? Start with Take the Test and Our Problem & Solution, then decide whether to attend a meeting.